Jane, 56, was born in a tiny, very rustic two bed rural town hospital. These humble beginnings did not reflect the family’s status in the area. Dad was an affluent cattle dealer who held the prestigious position of City Councilor/Mayor for over 40 years. The family owned four sprawling properties including dairy and sheep farms.

Jane certainly was shown the meaning of an honest day’s work with early starts and long hours as a dairy-farm hand, spanning from a very young age right through her adolescence. She had no easy ride in school either and had to develop a thick skin due to her father’s prominent but polarizing position. The mayor’s children were targets for other kids either through jealousy or animosity stirred up due to community rulings or directives passed by dad which didn’t suit some families.

Jane remembers high society family dinners, breaking bread with Prime Ministers Bob Hawke, Robert Menzies and even members of the British Royal Family, although she considers her own childhood far from glamorous! Being the eldest of four siblings, many of the maternal duties fell onto her and she was lumped with a lot of responsibility as a youngster. All those connections did pay off for Jane when at 18 she was given the opportunity to go to India for three months. Here she would perform humanitarian aid work and was able to help some of the less fortunate in the third world, an extremely eye-opening experience very few small-town girls would ever be afforded.

Jane had an extremely busy and varied start to her life, but she is the first to recognize it was not much of a ‘childhood’ in the true sense of the word. She had virtually no social life and no free time to spend just doing kid stuff like exploring and riding her bike with the other kids on the block.

An overarching Groundhog Day memory for Jane is waking at the crack of dawn, milking countless cows before having to go to school where she was so exhausted she regularly passed out, then waking up feel embarrassed and resentful that literally no-one had the slightest idea just what kind of workload she was subjected to. Then, going home to work on the farm until dark when she would pass out again from exhaustion….and repeat!

Jane married young and had the first of her five children aged 21. She had no time to find herself and the cycle seemed to continue through the 31 years of her marriage. Jane put everyone else in her immediate family first and dedicated zero time to her own emotional well-being. She recognizes she is caught in a toxic relationship fraught with emotional abuse.

The trauma carried from a childhood where she was made to feel part of an inferior sex, someone that is put on this earth to work for others was unfortunately reinforced by her husband. The silver lining from this caged life was the blessing of her five amazing children. Jane talks glowingly about the swelling of love and pride she holds for them. They are all doing amazingly well and living their best lives, all possess college degrees, and all are amazing well-adjusted human beings, this is a testament to Jane’s selfless and nurturing nature.

Now her final child has finished university and moved out, Jane believes she is suffering from, “empty nest syndrome”. This is something a lot of us can relate to, when you have given your everything to your kids and then one day you turn around and they’re not there anymore. The muddled feelings of sadness, emptiness and helplessness to name a few are overwhelming and with no support from a partner who is erratic, jealous, and generally abusive, Jane found herself in a very, very dark place!

In 2018 her daughter told her she needed to find something to do to give her life purpose and this struck a chord! Jane had an epiphany and she told herself, “enough is enough!” A mate had mentioned previously the good outcomes they had experienced with Ballarat Neighbourhood Centre (BNC).

Jane summoned up the courage to reach out. She contacted the Centre and said Shandelle especially, “changed my life!”. She felt comfortable pouring out her heart to Shandelle and together they came up with a plan to address and overcome the barriers holding her back from blossoming as an individual.

Jane felt in terms of education she had fallen through the cracks, even though the family were wealthy. She attended a good school but there was no emphasis put on her for academic achievements. This was more the focus for the boys during that era and in that particular setting.

Another key barrier was that she had no familiarity with computers, the internet, or any digital devices. She had focused absolutely on serving her family and all these rapid technological advances in the past few decades had passed her by.

It was decided by Shandelle and Jane first thing on the agenda was to sign up for some of BNC’s in-house courses. She did a computer course and barista course with a view to potentially picking up some part-time barista work later on.

Also considering Jane’s vast farming experience she was enabled by BNC to complete a Certificate III in Civil Construction where she got tickets for operating several forms of heavy plant machinery. Everything considered, these alone were some massive personal achievements for Jane but she wasn’t stopping now!

Shandelle during this initial period had become an amazing mentor both professionally and personally and Jane now considered Shandelle a real friend also. This lady really cared and actually believed in her. The confidence she felt in Jane inspired her to, “drive for freedom” and “fly like an eagle”, two Mantras she says she now lives by. Only six months prior to walking into BNC, Jane talks of having very dark thoughts and seeing no light in her tunnel. Now she is feeling energized and inspired to strive with a new zest for learning and for living.

Jane says due to her overtly traditional upbringing and learnt negative behaviours she was very unprogressive in regard to tolerance of other cultures, races, sexual orientation etc, something she is now very ashamed of. She says BNC introduced her to a whole new way of integrating with people from all walks of life and this has completely changed her outlook on everything. She feels more in tune with the world and its people and believes that she now treat’s everyone equally.

We know the journey towards a destination is as important as the destination itself. Regardless of how you Connect with us, we will travel this journey with you; sharing your highs and lows, the good and the bad times, and working with you to help you Learn and Participate.

This story was captured by John in December 2023 as a student placement project for his Bachelor of Community and Human Services degree. Names may be changed.